Kinkade Family: A Personal Update

Posted on June 12, 2018 by

This post is going to be a different post for me. My posts are usually centered about helping Christ followers, ministry leaders and the like in maturing their faith and circle of influence. For this one, I want to give you a personal update on the journey my wife, family and I are on.

For the last twelve years I have served as a local church associate pastor, mainly in the area of youth ministry. It was what I went to school to do and what we as a family have invested our hearts and souls in. We have been a part of four great churches in this time, seeing incredible ministry take place. At all four of these churches we have been blessed beyond measure to be around incredible families who have loved us like their own family and been there for us. Local church ministry on the staff level can be tough no doubt. It can be messy and figuring out how to best work in the “system” that you are in has it challenges. There is no doubt that God called us to all four of these churches and His hand guided us in the season while we were there. I love pastoring and shepherding. I have a deep passion for the local church because it is the main vehicle God uses to spread His Kingdom.

About four years ago I stumbled into writing with a local publishing ministry here in Nashville. I’ll never forget it. I sat around the table with the ministry leaders, writers and editors and we planned how to best help this curriculum line take next steps. I remember calling my wife that night from my hotel and telling her, “I loved being apart of this. I don’t know what this means or looks like but I would love to write and help local churches and ministries in this way.” One opportunity led to another and I began contract writing soon after that and haven’t looked back. I love writing and have a deep passion for helping churches and ministries through the written word, whether that be curriculum, story-telling and articles, blog posts, or training materials. There is no doubt in my mind that 4 years ago what I thought was simply “stumbling” across a writing project, I can clearly see as God’s providence in my life- leading, guiding and directing me.

Next week, my two passions, the local church and writing, collide into a new full-time ministry opportunity. I have accepted a job as a copy writer with The Gideons International here in Nashville. This is an incredible organization whose sole purpose is to win the lost to Christ and to get the Word of God into the hands of as many people as possible. How awesome is that! Will it be a change of pace and a learning curve? For sure. Are we excited? Absolutely! God is faithful. He has and continues to reveal that to us time and time again. He can be trusted when things are going well. He can be trusted when you have no idea what will happen next.

Our life long calling is ministry and the advancement of the Kingdom of God. We get one shot at this thing we call life and we simply want to do well. The local church was established by God Himself for reason. Plug in, be active, serve, give. Be faithful to the mission given to every single believer to make disciples in your circle of influence and beyond. I love the local church and pastoring. I love writing. I’m eternally grateful for this God-ordained opportunity. I am also extremely thankful for my incredible wife and family who has been right beside me every single step of the way.

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Posted in Family, Ministry

Gauging Where People Are Spiritually

Posted on April 23, 2018 by

When your burden to reach the lost becomes deeper, your passion to reach the lost will become greater. I am convinced that people do not share the Gospel on a frequent basis because they simply do not have a burden for where others will spend eternity. Christians all over the world have a direct mandate from Scripture, said by Jesus Himself, to “Go make disciples of all nations…” (Matthew 28:19-20)  As simplistic as this sounds, depending on the context and the realistic hardships in that context, this may be at best, difficult. It takes courage to talk about our faith but what we will realize is, more people than not, are open to a conversation if we will simply open our mouth.

So how should the conversation begin? How do I know where to even start? First, I would not begin with the classic line “If you died tonight, do you know where you would spend eternity?” My personal approach is much more relational. Get to know the person, talk about common interests, family, etc. What this does is break down preconceived “religious” barriers. In other words you do not want to come across as a “Bible thumper.” Men, if the co-worker, neighbor, is a lady be sure and involve your wife or connect her with a female small group leader from your church so they can connect. Ladies, the same for you. Second, we must realize that only the Holy Spirit truly knows where one is at. We cannot save and we must not act like we are God, knowing all and being all. We are as human as the person we are in conversation with.

So… to the best of my ability, how do I determine if someone understands the Gospel and is a Christ follower? Asking the following questions can help you in gauging where they are at and help them in taking next steps. If you are reading this and you are not a Christian, I encourage you to take these questions and find a Christian you trust and discuss them. Eternity is a big deal.

God: If someone with very little exposure to the local church and the Bible asked you, “Who is God and how do you know He is real…” how would you answer them? Here we have to determine what one thinks about God, whether it is accurate or not. This will help us in determining where their foundation lies.

Sin: What does it mean to commit a sin? What has sin done to our relationship with God? No doubt sin can be a hard thing to talk about. The goal here is not to unveil all of one’s deepest and darkest secrets but, sin is necessary in understanding our need for a Savior. Those who don’t view sin as a big deal will not view the need for a Savior as a big deal. 

Jesus: If someone with very little exposure to the local church and the Bible asked you, “Who is Jesus…” how would you answer them? Why did God send Jesus to us? Jesus is absolutely crucial in the salvation conversation. Understanding Jesus had to come in order for things to be made right, cannot be overlooked or missed. God, the Father, Jesus, the Son, and the Holy Spirit DO NOT operate independently.

Salvation: In your understanding, how does one accept Jesus as their personal LORD and Savior? Has there ever been a time you asked Jesus to be your LORD and Savior? Tell me about that time. Where were you? How old were you? Who was involved in the conversation? Is this a one time decision or can this be done many times? This is where we get to the when, where, who and how. What you are looking for is a time in which a real conversation with a real person occurred. Within this we must determine that the Gospel was clearly and biblically explained, understood and accepted.

Baptism: What is the purpose of baptism? Why should one be baptized? What can baptism not do for you? Baptism is an outward symbol of the work Christ has already accomplished on the inside. Baptism does not have the power to save. A new believer should joyously want to embrace this step with their local faith family.

Spiritual Growth: What is God teaching you right now in your walk with Him? What are you reading in the Word of God right now? This is needed further evidence that Christ is working. Salvation and baptism are not the finish line, it is the beginning.

Click HERE to download the Gauging Where People Are Spiritually tool to help you when you are witnessing or ministering to someone. It can also be found in the Ministry Resources section of the blog.

Posted in Discipleship, Leadership, Missions, Theology

My Plea to Christ-Following High School Students

Posted on January 10, 2018 by

“Daniel, I want to follow Jesus but what about my dreams and desires?” I’ll never forget that conversation I had with a junior high school guy over breakfast one morning. High school students are some of the most intriguing people to be around and work with. They are growing like crazy, usually want to live 2-5 years above their actual age, are learning to drive, think about life and dreams of the future all while still being a kid. For some, I love their drive and passion and their heart to simply want to do something. Their heart for more.

If you are a Christ-following high school student this blog post is for you. Here are four prayers that I have for you as you grow and mature into the young man or young woman who God desires for you to be.

That your heart’s desires would be driven by your affection for your Heavenly Father. I love the fact that you are ambitious and have dreams and passions. I love that you work hard at what you love most; sports, the arts, singing, helping others and so on. My plea to you is that you keep the main thing the main thing. That Jesus, His mission and Kingdom is forever on the forefront of anything and everything that you do. That whatever you want out of life, whatever dreams you have would be driven by your affection for the God that saved you, is working on you and is molding you. C.S. Lewis once said, “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”

That you would have a hunger to be a life-long learner. My plea is that you would long to spend time with older Godly men and women and learn from them. Ask good questions. Take notes. Lean into wisdom. We are far from perfect, just like you, but we want to pour into you and invest in you. We, as adults, need people in our lives just like that as well. Never think you have “made it” or settle for where you currently are. Proverbs 1:7 reminds us that the fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge. Spend time in God’s Word every day even if it is just for a few minutes. Billy Graham once said, “Each life is made up of mistakes and learning, waiting and growing, practicing patience and being persistent.”

That you would make purity a priority and live a holy life. My plea for high school students who love Jesus and follow Him is to be in this world but not of this world. That there would be a distinct difference in your thoughts, motives and actions. Simply put, that you would set the bar high for what is means to follow and love Jesus in a world spinning out of control. No doubt this is much harder to say than actually do. No doubt Satan is chopping at the bits to wreck you. Pursue Jesus and His ways- it is always better.

Guys, treat women with the up most respect and remember that she is a daughter of the Most High God. She is someone’s spouse one day. Lead well and not out of pride or arrogance. Be strong but gentle at the same time. Take that “fix it” and protector natural tendency and channel it for good and Godliness. Be a man but be a humble man.

Ladies, you are incredibly valued and loved and it is not based off of what you look like at all. Pursue holiness in your words, actions and physical appearance. Laugh a lot. Lean into who God says you are and not what the world pushes on you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Charles Spurgeon once said, “I believe the holier a man becomes, the more he mourns over the unholiness which remains in him.”

That you would see people the way God sees them and love them the way God loves them. The “love your neighbor as yourself” commandment is really missing in today’s world. We have the natural bent to only be around people who look like us, think like us and ultimately make us feel good about ourselves. We don’t get to decide who our “neighbor” is. Every single human being is an image-bearer of God Almighty, including you and me. Love and treat others the way God does. Read the four Gospels and see how Jesus interacted with people like Him and how He interacted with people far from Him. Learn from it. Model it. The goal is not perfection, the goal is obedience. Pray for others, especially the people who get on your nerves the most. Matt Chandler once said, “The more you make this world about you, the more miserable you will be.” 

High school students, you are world changers. No doubt in my mind. Change the world by loving well, by leading well and by ultimately living a holy and pleasing life for the Heavenly Father. Praying for and with you.

Posted in Student Ministry

Three Consistent “Asks” of Kids and Students

Posted on November 30, 2017 by

There are a lot of “asks” in life. As married adults, our spouses will ask for us to run errands, help fix something, or our opinion on different matters. Kids and teenagers are often asked to do homework, to help pick up siblings, help with yard work, to sit still and pay attention or potentially many other things. At times, it seems whether we are 8 years old or 88 years old that people are always asking something of us. Quite frankly it can get draining even if our true hearts desire is to serve and submit well.

With this framework in mind, I’m very careful how often and what I ask of my wife, my family and the volunteer leaders I serve alongside. I don’ want my reputation to be one of every time someone sees my name on their phone or sees me coming down the hall, they want to hit the decline button or walk the other direction because they know I need them to do something. As leaders, we always need help. People know this, it is no secret, especially in the local church setting. Volunteers want to feel valued and like they are making a difference. Therefore, it is important that even before we ask, they know we value them and love them no matter what. After all, that should be why we are asking them to help with something in the first place.

I spend most my days and weeks working with kids and students and with those that work with or parent kids and students. When it comes to asking of kids and students, I’m also very careful how often I do this and in the manner in which I do this. Especially students can often feel like you are just using them because they are gifted and talented in a certain area or because they are simply available.

There are three things I’m fairly consistent in asking kids and students to bring with them to church every week (outside of themselves, of course).

Their Bible. This may seem like a no brainer or it may even seem as if we are only desiring the “committed Christian” to show up. However, in the ministries I lead I want it to be no secret we are a people of the Bible. It is the most important book you can ever engage with. Period. If we can get a Bible in every kids and students hands that they can read and understand and instill in them and their parents the importance of daily Bible reading/engagement, then we are helping lay a crucial foundation in their life. It is impossible to disciple a person without Bible engagement. Therefore, I often say, “Be sure and bring your Bible with you. If you don’t have one or one that is easy for you to understand, come see me or one of the leaders and we will be sure and get you one as soon as possible.” 

A friend. The local church should always be a safe, fun and exciting place for kids and students to bring their friends. The big picture is we want to instill into kids and students  the importance of building healthy relationships with others. Then they/we have an opportunity to share the Gospel with others. Also, especially in the next generation, they want to be where their friends are. We don’t want to be event-driven, but we do want create environments that foster community. Therefore, I will often say or social media things like, “See you Wednesday at 6pm with a friend!” Also while promoting an event I will say something like, “This is an incredible thing to bring friends to that may not go to church or are looking for a new church.”

A willingness to learn and grow. I realize this is not a person or object but it is still very important. We want kids and students to know, in a very age-appropriate way, that we are a ministry and we desire for them to grow spiritually and learn all they can about God, His plan of redemption, the Church, how to live on mission and many other things about the Christian life. This is the age they are most eager to learn so we must capitalize on that. Therefore, I will often say something like, “Be ready to learn something very exciting this coming Sunday” or I will give them a well crafted, short, catchy phrase and then say, “You want to find out what this means… we will see you at church tonight!” This helps create a little bit of curiosity and an eagerness to learn more.

We don’t want to “ask” just for the sake of asking or sounding like a broken record. We have intentional asks because we care about the next generation and their walk with Jesus.

 

Posted in Discipleship, Family, Kids Ministry, Leadership, Ministry, Student Ministry

3 Things to Remember When Teaching Kids the Bible

Posted on September 11, 2017 by

One of my absolute favorite things I get to do every week is teach kids the Bible. For some, a room full of elementary kids bouncing off the walls, desiring to play tag with every free minute all while downing a sprinkles-filled donut, might not sound so awesome. While at moments it can drive you nuts, another way to look at it is all the potential that lies in the room. Here is the truth: these kids will not stay kids forever. They will continue to grow up. They are growing up in a world that does not love Jesus and could care less about pursuing Jesus. Parents, therefore, what you teach them matters. Kids ministry leaders, what you do every Sunday and Wednesday matters. It matters for eternity. You can’t save your child or anyone else’s child for that matter but what you can do is teach. You can take a pie-in-the-face, laugh with kids, and then share the Gospel with them. You can set a Godly example. You can equip and release.

Recently, I stepped into more of role in our church’s kids worship environment. It has grown me as a teacher of God’s Word and has shown me things I never saw before. And, quite frankly, I love it. There is simply something incredible about seeing a kid have a “lightbulb” moment and get it for the first time.

While being a part of kids worship I’m learning more and more about the ways kids learn and intake information. If you are a parent of a child, a kids ministry leader, a life-long VBS volunteer, a chaperon for events, or whatever role you find yourself in ministering to kids, I would like to offer you three tips when teaching kids the Bible. I’m in no way an expert in this area but I have found these helpful.

Break it down, don’t water it down. It is huge we understand the difference in these two things. When you break it down you desire to teach for impact. When you water it down you are simply “getting by.” By breaking it down you understand that you have influence in a kid’s life and you desire them to know Jesus. Typically, kids has a greater capacity than we give them credit for. They CAN understand the Gospel and Biblical truths. They CAN understand sin. They CAN understand why Jesus had to come to die for our sins. When we choose to water it down, we live under the false pretense that “kids can’t handle this yet.” As a result, we are doing kids a major disservice. This way of thinking usually comes from an immature Christian that simply does not want to put the time or preparation in. No doubt teaching kids is a difficult task. They are restless, up and down, and their favorite word is usually “why.” However, what we miss when we water it down instead of breaking it down, is the incredible opportunity to speak Gospel truth into the life of a kid at the most receptive time of their life.

Make it stick, so it will click. How you teach, what you teach matters. Hardly a time goes by that I don’t use objects, visual aids, or some form of media, when I’m teaching kids the Bible. These are all great tools in breaking it down to help kids understand what we are trying to communicate to them. When kids understand truth it gives them the opportunity to embrace truth and then apply that truth to the people around them. So work hard at making it memorable so they will have “lightbulb” moments. It is important to remember that you won’t hit a “home-run” every time. That is to be expected and okay. Change your methods up every once in a while, spend time with a parent or a ministry leader further down the road than you and ask what worked for them. All these things can help you think of ways to creatively teach kids the Bible.

Explain the Gospel clearly and often. Never, ever lost sight of this. While I’m all for exciting environments, they should NEVER replace or trump the Gospel message. Again, teach in a very age-appropriate way but never lose sight of the bottom line of why you are teaching in the first place- to introduce kids to Jesus. Don’t lose Jesus in the production. Ask a kid how they became a Christian, and they will inevitably tell you about a time that a caring adult, whether it be mom and dad, a Sunday school teacher, a coach, or a kids pastor/ministry leader, took the time to invest into them and tell them about the greatest hope they can ever have. This is a beautiful picture of the Church being the Church.

Bottom line… Creatively break down the Gospel message so kids clearly understand it and as a result have the chance to connect to it.

Here are three questions to consider as you are teaching kids the Bible:

  1. What is the one thing I want them to remember from our time together in God’s Word? (In other words, what is your bottom line?)
  2. How can I best teach this to them in a fun, age-appropriate way?
  3. No matter what I’m teaching them, how can I tie it back to the Gospel and what Jesus has done for us?
Posted in Discipleship, Family, Kids Ministry, Ministry, Theology

3 Things Christ Following Parents Need to Constantly Remind Their Kids

Posted on August 24, 2017 by

My wife and I have been parents for a little over 3 years now. We have a 3 1/2 year old daughter and a 4 month old baby boy. No, we are not getting sleep at night and yes, we still love being mommy and daddy. Just the other night I was holding our 4 month old, Caleb, as he had fallen asleep in my arms. I began to look at him, gently rub his head and pray for him. In the background I could hear our 3 1/2 year old daughter running around, avoiding brushing her teeth and getting ready for bed. She is a constant reminder of what energy and laughter is. I thought about the world they will grow up in. I then thought about the solar eclipse that occurred this past Monday and what an incredible display of the awesomeness of God it was. I thanked God for who He is and how He graciously continues to reveal Himself to us. I thanked God that no matter how crazy our world gets, He is still on His throne.

As I was looking at Caleb I began to have a thought I have had many times before, “What do I really want our kids to learn and grasp?” As a Christ following parent, if I could remind them of a few things over and over, what would those things be? These three things came to mind…

God loves you more than you will ever know. Yes, it is crazy important for our kids to know how much we as parents love them. We are very intentional to constantly be affirming and loving with Madelyn and Caleb, even in the tough moments. Yet, even in their very young minds, we want to instill in them that the greatest love they will ever know is the love of God. As much as mom and dad love them, God loves them more. While being raised in a Christian home, having a dad who is a pastor, and being taught the Bible at church and at home, a relationship with God is personal. We desire for our kids to personally know and embrace how much God loves them. He loves them so much that He sent His one and only Son to die for their sins so they can have a right relationship with Him.

This world is broken. Just yesterday morning, while working from a local coffee shop, I had conversation with someone about brokenness in their family. Divorce in the midst of an affair had broken a more than 20 year marriage within their family. As I talked with this person, the conversation led into how an 8 old girl had been effected by the situation and the things she was being exposed to. In one word, brokenness. An 8-year-old sees this and an 88-year-old sees this. We live in a broken world as a result of sin. We need to constantly remind our kids that the brokenness they see is NOT the way God intended the world to be. Yet, He still is crazy in love with us even when we make decisions that do not bring Him glory. We must instill in our kids that yes, brokenness will always exist on this side of eternity but, they can choose to pursue Jesus.

Jesus is always better. Our kids will face many temptations and decisions along the way.  When it comes to choosing the God-honoring path or the worldly path, may we always instill in our kids that Jesus is simply better. He always is. The world offers quick, temporary “happiness” and Jesus offers eternal joy. There is a big difference in these two things. From the young child that yells, “But Mommy, I want it now!” to the teenager that keeps asking, “But why…?!” we need to constantly keep Hebrews 12:1-2 on the hearts and minds of our kids. Why? Because Jesus is better, in every single circumstance that may arise.

From one Christ-following parent to another one that is reading this right now, I know it is hard. We in no way have this parent thing figured out. There are parents that we lean on and ask for Godly advice all the time. We are praying for you as you raise kids in a world that does not love and pursue Jesus. We pray the Gospel of Jesus Christ will so grip your kids hearts and minds that they will passionately live for Jesus and His Kingdom. We are constantly praying this for our kids.

 

Posted in Discipleship, Family, Kids Ministry, Theology

Following Jesus.

Posted on August 15, 2017 by

We live in a world that embraces superficial things, is always looking for whatever is “new and next,” and will ultimately follow things that are only important to them. The moral compass of what is right and wrong is ever-changing and it seems that every time we turn on the TV something is going wrong. In the middle of this we do see things that excite us and things that are good. Maybe its our kids achieving a goal they have worked really hard on, our team excels and is in the state playoffs, we get a promotion at work, we find out that “the news” at the doctor’s office is not as bad as it could have been.

In the middle of all these ups and downs is the prominent priority that is on every Christ followers heart, following Jesus. As a pastor, I get asked all the time, “How do I know if I’m truly following Jesus?” For the most part, at the bottom of this, is a sincere heart that desires to make the name of Jesus famous. While it may not be announced from a stage with a microphone, it seems that many Christ followers, at the same time, feel as if they are consistently wondering what God thinks about them. “Man, I messed up this week” or “Wow, that didn’t go like I had hoped, how did that go so wrong” fills our minds. This leads us to wonder if our commitment to Jesus is genuine. While the enemy is masterful at “getting in our head” and lying to us in order to take eyes off of Jesus, I believe there are at least four indications that we can tangibly see that affirm we did have a genuine relationship with Jesus, the Savior.

The pursuit of God in His Word. A follower of Jesus Christ is simply this: A person who admits they are a sinner, in need of saving. They believe in their heart that Jesus can forgive them of their sins and have confessed Jesus to be the LORD and Savior of their life (Romans 10:9). It is not a speech given, it is a life lived. After making this life-changing commitment to Jesus, the pursuit of God in and through His Word is the desire of the heart. Each and every day we wake up and crave to be washed in the Word, wanting to know Jesus more, and leaning into His promises. It is absolutely impossible to follow Jesus apart from His Word. It simply cannot be done. If you claim to follow Jesus then you should be able to comfortably answer these two questions, “What are you reading in God’s Word right now?” and “What is God teaching you as you read His Word?”

The people around us. The people that we allow to influence our lives and the people we in return influence is a great indicator if you are following Jesus. If you claim to follow Jesus then you should be able to comfortably give exact times, groups, and locations in which you are in biblical community. What local church are you a member of? What small group are you apart of? How are you serving the body of Christ? This whole idea that “My relationship with Jesus is private” is simply not biblical. When you read the book of Acts, you see the early church on fire for Jesus and you see them accomplishing it together (Acts 2:42-47). While a relationship with Jesus is a personal, individual decision, the Christian life is not a solo act. A Jesus follower has people praying for and encouraging them while they are doing the same thing for others. They also have people in their life they trying to reach with Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Our perception of life and eternity. A true follower of Jesus has an eternal mindset on all things. When Jesus changes a heart and life, how we deal we conflict, how we react to situations, and how we view what is most important all changes. We do not simply live for the here and now. A Christ follower knows that eternity is at stake. They simply do not go to work with the goal of making money. While bills must be paid, we go to work and view it as a mission field. A Jesus following high school football player is not simply on the team to break records and get a scholarship. He views his team as a mission field. A Christ follower wakes up with this on their mind, “Jesus, how can I love and pursue you more today than I did yesterday?”

The manner in which we pray. The more we follow Jesus, the more we will be conformed to His ways and thoughts. I love to hear a genuine, heartfelt, prayer of a faithful saint. In this you will hear struggles, victories, and a heart for the nations. A true Christ follower rarely prays for something that will only benefit themselves. A key question to consider here is, “Do I tend to pray more selfishly or sacrificially?” Your prayers and your “Christmas wish list” should not sound the same. While it is definitely appropriate and encouraged to pray for your walk with Jesus and things on your heart, a Christ follower is always others-focused.

John 15 is an incredible chapter in the Bible. It has great words of wisdom from Jesus about abiding in Him. John 15 shows us that if we are truly connected to the True Vine, others will be able to see it. Can others see this in you?

John 15:8 (CSB), “My Father is glorified by this: that you produce much fruit and prove to be my disciples.”

Click HERE to download the Following Jesus Worksheet which will practically help you evaluate if you have a genuine walk with Jesus.

Posted in Discipleship, Small Groups, Theology