Life, Leadership, and Things That Will Last

Life is not easily assembled, and sometimes there are parts missing. I admit I have been on a roller coaster of emotions the past six months of my life—experiencing every emotion from sadness and pain to joy and freedom. Sometimes these emotions have left me feeling as if I’m trying to figure out how to put together a child’s toy that is labeled “easy assembly required” on the outside of the box.

Jesus said in Mark 8:36 (ESV), “For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?” The belief that one can be all things, to all people, at all times, is absurd. Life will be miserable if this is your attempt. Every single person will end up doing two things in life at some point—attempting things and doing really well and attempting things and failing, sometimes miserably. I’m learning, in different scenarios, both of these results are just fine. 

My prayer for the following thoughts is no matter where you are in life, these words will help and encourage you in some way. That you may come to understand that life is a precious gift, every single person has leadership capacity, and only one thing will last for all of eternity.

Life.
Life is a beautiful gift, and we only get one shot at it.

I’m constantly reminded, that life is a beautiful gift—even through the ups and downs. For the past 33 years, God has awoken me every single day. Some days, I nail it. Others, I fail. Others, somewhere in the middle. This does not change the fact that I have been given much and much is required of me.

Life is beautiful because the Creator of life made it beautiful. This does not mean we dismiss the brokenness that surrounds us. It means we maximize the opportunities we have been given, while we still have it. We take our God-given uniqueness and we use to further a mission that is beyond anything we could do on our own accord. We maximize relationships with others because we were built for community. We serve, we forgive, and we extend grace, all because the exact same thing has been done for us. The beauty of life is not based on circumstances. The beauty of life is based on the Giver of life, who fashioned you in unique ways to contribute in ways that you may have never seen coming. Find comfort in Him as the giver of life. You don’t have to have it all figured out to make a difference. Life is a beautiful gift, and we only get one shot at it.

Leadership.
How you carry yourself – day in and day out – says a lot about your leadership capacity. 

Thomas A. Edison once said, “Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” We can become so inundated with our failures, that we clearly miss what God is showing us through them. There are days I have led well. There are days I have not led well. I have served under some extraordinary leaders who have challenged, pushed, and encouraged me. I have also served under some leaders who were terribly insecure and created work environments in which nothing was ever good enough. I have learned much from both. An important leadership lesson is this: other’s insecurities do not change your leadership capacity. This is difficult because we can often feel the weight of other’s insecurities around us. Capacity is defined as “the amount that something can produce.” What are you currently producing? What is stopping you from maximizing your leadership potential? Responding with the “blame game” is an endless cycle that drives you to bitterness, not development. I believe you can learn as much, if not more, from bad leadership. Never allow an insecure leader to convince you that you are not called or fit to do exactly what God has built you to do. An insecure leader, or great leader for that matter, did not fashion you in your mother’s womb, only the King of Kings created you. How you carry yourself – day in and day out – says a lot about your leadership capacity. How you bounce back from adversity says a lot about your character and what drives you.

Things that will Last.
The Kingdom of God—the only thing that will last; the only thing that is eternal.

That career you thought you were going to be in for the rest of your life, God knew all along that you wouldn’t be. In fact, it may have just been a set up for what He really built you to do. That best friend who you thought would always be by your side may be taken unexpectedly. The normal, that you thought would be the routine normal, can instantly be replaced with a new normal. Change in this life is inevitable. One of the most comical things I think we can ask a senior graduating from high school is, “So, what is your five-year plan?” Lead well, yes. Plan well, yes. But, realize that absolutely nothing in this life is eternal. You can attach a U-Haul to a hurst, but it might as well be empty because nothing in it will follow you. The only thing that will last is the Kingdom of Heaven. How are you leveraging your time, talent, and resources for the Kingdom? The Church is the vehicle used to advance the Kingdom of Heaven. May the Church be so ingrained in your life that one can’t talk about you without mentioning it.

Life is terribly miserable when it centers on you. After all, the child’s toy box doesn’t read, “easy assembly required for you,” it reads, “easy assembly required.”

“May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire.” (2 Peter 1:2-4 ESV)

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Advice to the Next Generation

I’ve spent more than a decade of my life investing in the next generation. While I’m no longer in full-time student ministry, investing in the next generation and the generations to come makes my heart beat a little bit faster. We must invest in the next generation because they need to make a Kingdom impact now. I still love being around students and their families, hearing their stories, and sharing wisdom when appropriate. If I were standing in front of a group of middle and high school students, saved or lost, the following is what I would tell them.

Walk in Truth. Your life is guided by the truths you deem to be true—it drives why you do what you do. However, would it be comforting knowing that circumstances or the changing times don’t have to dictate the way you live? Live in the comfort that you don’t create truth; Truth was established a long time ago. Furthermore, you are part of a greater mission and Kingdom that can guide your steps. It is impossible to walk in this Truth if you don’t know the Creator of Truth. Make it your life’s ambition to know Truth, embrace Truth, grow in Truth. Not walking in the Truth will allow the Enemy to steal your joy. In addition, the world’s idea of success will drive you. You will end up longing for more of something that will never satisfy. Walking in Truth will often not be the popular route; yet, it will always be the best one.

“This is what the Lord says: “Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it, and you will find rest for your souls.” (Jeremiah 6:16a, NIV)

The heart is deceitful. Our natural bent is towards our own sinful nature. When we wake up in the morning, our daily battle between spirit and flesh begins. Following our heart leads us down a road that begins and ends with ourselves. The danger therein is our heart—as tender as it may seem—will lead us no further than our own wisdom or feelings can take us. What if our heart is wrong…what then? We don’t know what is best for us. Our natural bent is what led to the world we now find ourselves in. What captivates our heart will define the man or woman we will become. Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

“The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9, NIV)

Be careful who you surround yourself with. We were created for relationships. From the beginning of humanity, we see man surrounded by perfection with all that had been created, yet something was missing—a companion, the woman. Whether we consider ourselves introverts or extroverts, we were all built for community. What community do we allow to influence our lives? We will become who we are around. Include people in your circle of influence who ask you hard questions, love you no matter what, and always have your best interest in mind. Have people in your life who tell you what you need to hear, even if it is not what you want to hear. Allow others to build into you; and you, in return, build into others. Ultimately, make sure you have people in your life who cause you to pursue the One who knows you best—the One who created you.

“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” (Proverbs 1:20, NIV)

Don’t settle for good; go for best. We live in a society that settles for just good enough. This idea of “barely getting by” leads to living a life of complacency and never going the extra mile. When we settle for good enough, we rarely give our best. And when we don’t give our best, can we really look at the person in the mirror and be pleased? The end result is we aren’t living in the fullness of which we were created to live. Giving our best means we show up before we are supposed to and stay later than we are supposed to, all for the betterment of the greater objective and mission. We should give our best to the One who gave His best for us. Why settle for good enough when best is achievable? 

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.” (1 Corinthians 9:24, NIV)

Serve, expecting nothing in return. Our attitude and actions toward others reveal our hearts. If we serve to be recognized, we actually aren’t serving. Rather, we are looking for self-gratification through the lens of good works. Serve others even if they can never serve you back. Love your neighbor as yourself, not just because it is the right thing to do but because it is the best thing to do. Serve the least of these and serve the greatest of these. You won’t change the world through teaching and talking; you will change the world through loving and showing. After you show love, then your words will be heard. Serve because giving is way more rewarding than receiving. Serve because the One who fashioned you in your mother’s womb came to serve you.  

“Not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” (Philippians 2:4, NIV)

Kinkade Family: A Personal Update

This post is going to be a different post for me. My posts are usually centered on helping Christ followers, ministry leaders and the like in maturing their faith and circle of influence. For this one, I want to give you a personal update on the journey my wife, family and I are on.

For the last twelve years I have served as a local church associate pastor, mainly in the area of youth ministry. It was what I went to school to do and what we as a family have invested our hearts and souls in. We have been a part of four great churches in this time, seeing incredible ministry take place. At all four of these churches we have been blessed beyond measure to be around incredible families who have loved us like their own family and been there for us. Local church ministry on the staff level can be tough no doubt. It can be messy and figuring out how to best work in the “system” that you are in has it challenges. There is no doubt that God called us to all four of these churches and His hand guided us in the season while we were there. I love pastoring and shepherding. I have a deep passion for the local church because it is the main vehicle God uses to spread His Kingdom.

About five years ago I stumbled into writing with a local publishing ministry here in Nashville. I’ll never forget it. I sat around the table with the ministry leaders, writers and editors and we planned how to best help this curriculum line take next steps. I remember calling my wife that night from my hotel and telling her, “I loved being apart of this. I don’t know what this means or looks like but I would love to write and help local churches and ministries in this way.” One opportunity led to another and I began contract writing soon after that and haven’t looked back. I love writing and have a deep passion for helping churches and ministries through the written word, whether that be curriculum, story-telling and articles, blog posts, or training materials. There is no doubt in my mind that five years ago what I thought was simply “stumbling” across a writing project, I can clearly see as God’s providence in my life- leading, guiding and directing me.

Next week, my two passions, the local church and writing, collide into a new full-time ministry opportunity. I have accepted a job as a copywriter with The Gideons International here in Nashville. This is an incredible organization whose sole purpose is to win the lost to Christ and to get the Word of God into the hands of as many people as possible. How awesome is that! Will it be a change of pace and a learning curve? For sure. Are we excited? Absolutely! God is faithful. He has and continues to reveal that to us time and time again. He can be trusted when things are going well. He can be trusted when you have no idea what will happen next.

Our life long calling is ministry and the advancement of the Kingdom of God. We get one shot at this thing we call life and we simply want to do well. The local church was established by God Himself for reason. Plug in, be active, serve, give. Be faithful to the mission given to every single believer to make disciples in your circle of influence and beyond. I love the local church and pastoring. I love writing. I’m eternally grateful for this God-ordained opportunity. I am also extremely thankful for my incredible wife and family who has been right beside me every single step of the way.

Gauging Where People Are Spiritually

When your burden to reach the lost becomes deeper, your passion to reach the lost will become greater. I am convinced that people do not share the Gospel on a frequent basis because they simply do not have a burden for where others will spend eternity. Christians all over the world have a direct mandate from Scripture, said by Jesus Himself, to “Go make disciples of all nations…” (Matthew 28:19-20)  As simplistic as this sounds, depending on the context and the realistic hardships in that context, this may be at best, difficult. It takes courage to talk about our faith but what we will realize is, more people than not, are open to a conversation if we will simply open our mouth.

So how should the conversation begin? How do I know where to even start? First, I would not begin with the classic line “If you died tonight, do you know where you would spend eternity?” My personal approach is much more relational. Get to know the person, talk about common interests, family, etc. What this does is break down preconceived “religious” barriers. In other words you do not want to come across as a “Bible thumper.” Men, if the co-worker, neighbor, is a lady be sure and involve your wife or connect her with a female small group leader from your church so they can connect. Ladies, the same for you. Second, we must realize that only the Holy Spirit truly knows where one is at. We cannot save and we must not act like we are God, knowing all and being all. We are as human as the person we are in conversation with.

So… to the best of my ability, how do I determine if someone understands the Gospel and is a Christ follower? Asking the following questions can help you in gauging where they are at and help them in taking next steps. If you are reading this and you are not a Christian, I encourage you to take these questions and find a Christian you trust and discuss them. Eternity is a big deal.

God: If someone with very little exposure to the local church and the Bible asked you, “Who is God and how do you know He is real…” how would you answer them? Here we have to determine what one thinks about God, whether it is accurate or not. This will help us in determining where their foundation lies.

Sin: What does it mean to commit a sin? What has sin done to our relationship with God? No doubt sin can be a hard thing to talk about. The goal here is not to unveil all of one’s deepest and darkest secrets but, sin is necessary in understanding our need for a Savior. Those who don’t view sin as a big deal will not view the need for a Savior as a big deal. 

Jesus: If someone with very little exposure to the local church and the Bible asked you, “Who is Jesus…” how would you answer them? Why did God send Jesus to us? Jesus is absolutely crucial in the salvation conversation. Understanding Jesus had to come in order for things to be made right, cannot be overlooked or missed. God, the Father, Jesus, the Son, and the Holy Spirit DO NOT operate independently.

Salvation: In your understanding, how does one accept Jesus as their personal LORD and Savior? Has there ever been a time you asked Jesus to be your LORD and Savior? Tell me about that time. Where were you? How old were you? Who was involved in the conversation? Is this a one time decision or can this be done many times? This is where we get to the when, where, who and how. What you are looking for is a time in which a real conversation with a real person occurred. Within this we must determine that the Gospel was clearly and biblically explained, understood and accepted.

Baptism: What is the purpose of baptism? Why should one be baptized? What can baptism not do for you? Baptism is an outward symbol of the work Christ has already accomplished on the inside. Baptism does not have the power to save. A new believer should joyously want to embrace this step with their local faith family.

Spiritual Growth: What is God teaching you right now in your walk with Him? What are you reading in the Word of God right now? This is needed further evidence that Christ is working. Salvation and baptism are not the finish line, it is the beginning.

Click HERE to download the Gauging Where People Are Spiritually tool to help you when you are witnessing or ministering to someone. It can also be found in the Ministry Resources section of the blog.

My Plea to Christ-Following High School Students

“Daniel, I want to follow Jesus but what about my dreams and desires?” I’ll never forget that conversation I had with a junior high school guy over breakfast one morning. High school students are some of the most intriguing people to be around and work with. They are growing like crazy, usually want to live 2-5 years above their actual age, are learning to drive, think about life and dreams of the future all while still being a kid. For some, I love their drive and passion and their heart to simply want to do something. Their heart for more.

If you are a Christ-following high school student this blog post is for you. Here are four prayers that I have for you as you grow and mature into the young man or young woman who God desires for you to be.

That your heart’s desires would be driven by your affection for your Heavenly Father. I love the fact that you are ambitious and have dreams and passions. I love that you work hard at what you love most; sports, the arts, singing, helping others and so on. My plea to you is that you keep the main thing the main thing. That Jesus, His mission and Kingdom is forever on the forefront of anything and everything that you do. That whatever you want out of life, whatever dreams you have would be driven by your affection for the God that saved you, is working on you and is molding you. C.S. Lewis once said, “You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”

That you would have a hunger to be a life-long learner. My plea is that you would long to spend time with older Godly men and women and learn from them. Ask good questions. Take notes. Lean into wisdom. We are far from perfect, just like you, but we want to pour into you and invest in you. We, as adults, need people in our lives just like that as well. Never think you have “made it” or settle for where you currently are. Proverbs 1:7 reminds us that the fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge. Spend time in God’s Word every day even if it is just for a few minutes. Billy Graham once said, “Each life is made up of mistakes and learning, waiting and growing, practicing patience and being persistent.”

That you would make purity a priority and live a holy life. My plea for high school students who love Jesus and follow Him is to be in this world but not of this world. That there would be a distinct difference in your thoughts, motives and actions. Simply put, that you would set the bar high for what is means to follow and love Jesus in a world spinning out of control. No doubt this is much harder to say than actually do. No doubt Satan is chopping at the bits to wreck you. Pursue Jesus and His ways- it is always better.

Guys, treat women with the up most respect and remember that she is a daughter of the Most High God. She is someone’s spouse one day. Lead well and not out of pride or arrogance. Be strong but gentle at the same time. Take that “fix it” and protector natural tendency and channel it for good and Godliness. Be a man but be a humble man.

Ladies, you are incredibly valued and loved and it is not based off of what you look like at all. Pursue holiness in your words, actions and physical appearance. Laugh a lot. Lean into who God says you are and not what the world pushes on you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Charles Spurgeon once said, “I believe the holier a man becomes, the more he mourns over the unholiness which remains in him.”

That you would see people the way God sees them and love them the way God loves them. The “love your neighbor as yourself” commandment is really missing in today’s world. We have the natural bent to only be around people who look like us, think like us and ultimately make us feel good about ourselves. We don’t get to decide who our “neighbor” is. Every single human being is an image-bearer of God Almighty, including you and me. Love and treat others the way God does. Read the four Gospels and see how Jesus interacted with people like Him and how He interacted with people far from Him. Learn from it. Model it. The goal is not perfection, the goal is obedience. Pray for others, especially the people who get on your nerves the most. Matt Chandler once said, “The more you make this world about you, the more miserable you will be.” 

High school students, you are world changers. No doubt in my mind. Change the world by loving well, by leading well and by ultimately living a holy and pleasing life for the Heavenly Father. Praying for and with you.

Three Consistent “Asks” of Kids and Students

There are a lot of “asks” in life. As married adults, our spouses will ask for us to run errands, help fix something, or our opinion on different matters. Kids and teenagers are often asked to do homework, to help pick up siblings, help with yard work, to sit still and pay attention or potentially many other things. At times, it seems whether we are 8 years old or 88 years old that people are always asking something of us. Quite frankly it can get draining even if our true hearts desire is to serve and submit well.

With this framework in mind, I’m very careful how often and what I ask of my wife, my family and the volunteer leaders I serve alongside. I don’ want my reputation to be one of every time someone sees my name on their phone or sees me coming down the hall, they want to hit the decline button or walk the other direction because they know I need them to do something. As leaders, we always need help. People know this, it is no secret, especially in the local church setting. Volunteers want to feel valued and like they are making a difference. Therefore, it is important that even before we ask, they know we value them and love them no matter what. After all, that should be why we are asking them to help with something in the first place.

I spend most my days and weeks working with kids and students and with those that work with or parent kids and students. When it comes to asking of kids and students, I’m also very careful how often I do this and in the manner in which I do this. Especially students can often feel like you are just using them because they are gifted and talented in a certain area or because they are simply available.

There are three things I’m fairly consistent in asking kids and students to bring with them to church every week (outside of themselves, of course).

Their Bible. This may seem like a no brainer or it may even seem as if we are only desiring the “committed Christian” to show up. However, in the ministries I lead I want it to be no secret we are a people of the Bible. It is the most important book you can ever engage with. Period. If we can get a Bible in every kids and students hands that they can read and understand and instill in them and their parents the importance of daily Bible reading/engagement, then we are helping lay a crucial foundation in their life. It is impossible to disciple a person without Bible engagement. Therefore, I often say, “Be sure and bring your Bible with you. If you don’t have one or one that is easy for you to understand, come see me or one of the leaders and we will be sure and get you one as soon as possible.” 

A friend. The local church should always be a safe, fun and exciting place for kids and students to bring their friends. The big picture is we want to instill into kids and students  the importance of building healthy relationships with others. Then they/we have an opportunity to share the Gospel with others. Also, especially in the next generation, they want to be where their friends are. We don’t want to be event-driven, but we do want create environments that foster community. Therefore, I will often say or social media things like, “See you Wednesday at 6pm with a friend!” Also while promoting an event I will say something like, “This is an incredible thing to bring friends to that may not go to church or are looking for a new church.”

A willingness to learn and grow. I realize this is not a person or object but it is still very important. We want kids and students to know, in a very age-appropriate way, that we are a ministry and we desire for them to grow spiritually and learn all they can about God, His plan of redemption, the Church, how to live on mission and many other things about the Christian life. This is the age they are most eager to learn so we must capitalize on that. Therefore, I will often say something like, “Be ready to learn something very exciting this coming Sunday” or I will give them a well crafted, short, catchy phrase and then say, “You want to find out what this means… we will see you at church tonight!” This helps create a little bit of curiosity and an eagerness to learn more.

We don’t want to “ask” just for the sake of asking or sounding like a broken record. We have intentional asks because we care about the next generation and their walk with Jesus.

 

3 Things to Remember When Teaching Kids the Bible

One of my absolute favorite things I get to do every week is teach kids the Bible. For some, a room full of elementary kids bouncing off the walls, desiring to play tag with every free minute all while downing a sprinkles-filled donut, might not sound so awesome. While at moments it can drive you nuts, another way to look at it is all the potential that lies in the room. Here is the truth: these kids will not stay kids forever. They will continue to grow up. They are growing up in a world that does not love Jesus and could care less about pursuing Jesus. Parents, therefore, what you teach them matters. Kids ministry leaders, what you do every Sunday and Wednesday matters. It matters for eternity. You can’t save your child or anyone else’s child for that matter but what you can do is teach. You can take a pie-in-the-face, laugh with kids, and then share the Gospel with them. You can set a Godly example. You can equip and release.

Recently, I stepped into more of role in our church’s kids worship environment. It has grown me as a teacher of God’s Word and has shown me things I never saw before. And, quite frankly, I love it. There is simply something incredible about seeing a kid have a “lightbulb” moment and get it for the first time.

While being a part of kids worship I’m learning more and more about the ways kids learn and intake information. If you are a parent of a child, a kids ministry leader, a life-long VBS volunteer, a chaperon for events, or whatever role you find yourself in ministering to kids, I would like to offer you three tips when teaching kids the Bible. I’m in no way an expert in this area but I have found these helpful.

Break it down, don’t water it down. It is huge we understand the difference in these two things. When you break it down you desire to teach for impact. When you water it down you are simply “getting by.” By breaking it down you understand that you have influence in a kid’s life and you desire them to know Jesus. Typically, kids has a greater capacity than we give them credit for. They CAN understand the Gospel and Biblical truths. They CAN understand sin. They CAN understand why Jesus had to come to die for our sins. When we choose to water it down, we live under the false pretense that “kids can’t handle this yet.” As a result, we are doing kids a major disservice. This way of thinking usually comes from an immature Christian that simply does not want to put the time or preparation in. No doubt teaching kids is a difficult task. They are restless, up and down, and their favorite word is usually “why.” However, what we miss when we water it down instead of breaking it down, is the incredible opportunity to speak Gospel truth into the life of a kid at the most receptive time of their life.

Make it stick, so it will click. How you teach, what you teach matters. Hardly a time goes by that I don’t use objects, visual aids, or some form of media, when I’m teaching kids the Bible. These are all great tools in breaking it down to help kids understand what we are trying to communicate to them. When kids understand truth it gives them the opportunity to embrace truth and then apply that truth to the people around them. So work hard at making it memorable so they will have “lightbulb” moments. It is important to remember that you won’t hit a “home-run” every time. That is to be expected and okay. Change your methods up every once in a while, spend time with a parent or a ministry leader further down the road than you and ask what worked for them. All these things can help you think of ways to creatively teach kids the Bible.

Explain the Gospel clearly and often. Never, ever lost sight of this. While I’m all for exciting environments, they should NEVER replace or trump the Gospel message. Again, teach in a very age-appropriate way but never lose sight of the bottom line of why you are teaching in the first place- to introduce kids to Jesus. Don’t lose Jesus in the production. Ask a kid how they became a Christian, and they will inevitably tell you about a time that a caring adult, whether it be mom and dad, a Sunday school teacher, a coach, or a kids pastor/ministry leader, took the time to invest into them and tell them about the greatest hope they can ever have. This is a beautiful picture of the Church being the Church.

Bottom lineCreatively break down the Gospel message so kids clearly understand it and as a result have the chance to connect to it.

Here are three questions to consider as you are teaching kids the Bible:

  1. What is the one thing I want them to remember from our time together in God’s Word? (In other words, what is your bottom line?)
  2. How can I best teach this to them in a fun, age-appropriate way?
  3. No matter what I’m teaching them, how can I tie it back to the Gospel and what Jesus has done for us?