Helping Kids Live on Mission

Recently, I blogged about the importance of helping middle school and high school students live on mission. You can find that blog post HERE. It is absolutely vital that teenagers live on mission. With that being said, I believe living on mission needs to begin way before a person enters middle school. In fact, I believe we must be proactive in the area of missional living with younger kids so that when they get older it isn’t such a struggle. There is huge long-term benefit for the family, families to come, and the Kingdom of heaven, in doing this.

I believe we need to lead, equip, and teach elementary aged kids in four concepts so that they have a better understanding of what it means to live on mission for Jesus.

1. Lead kids to understand the why behind the what. As Christ followers, the Gospel drives all we do and all we are about. Kids need to know that yes we are “helping people” but that is not all there is to it. We live on mission by loving people like Jesus loves people. We have the opportunity to tell the greatest story ever told. Our thoughts and actions must speak to the life changing message of Jesus Christ. Kids can and should play a hug role in this. Remember, kids learn best from repetition. We need to constantly remind them of the why behind the what.

2. Teach kids the 10-10-10 principle: Missional living can take place 10 steps down the road, 10 minutes down the road, and 10 hours down the road. You don’t have to be in a “jungle in Africa” to live on mission. Kids need to be reminded that people 10 steps away, 10 minutes away, and 10 hours away, all need Jesus. From the kids they run around with on the playground, to the kids they only see on the refrigerator that their family prays for, the mission is the same, show them Jesus. Be the hands and feet of Jesus to a lost and dying world. What is important to remember is that no matter the location, the mission is the same.

3. Help kids and families experience missional living together. It is a powerful picture of the church being the church when dad, mom, grandparents, and the next generation are all living on mission together. Dads and moms must be in the habit of telling their kids how they are living on mission while showing them as well. This can involve things such as praying together, serving a family in need, and inviting another family in the neighborhood to come to church with you. Deuteronomy 6:7b (HCSB) says “talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” I pray that families live this out faithfully, starting with mine.

4. Equip kids to embrace that missional living is something Christ followers are continually about. Missional living does not have an “off and on switch.” Whether we are at school, on the ball friend, at a dance recital, at a birthday party, or at church, we are always to be a light in a dark world. A simple way of living this out is praying, “Lord use us to bring Your name glory today” before leaving for the day. Kids are as much the church as their parents are. Parents, before you go to bed at night, pray over your kids. Pray that they would love Jesus more than anything else.

Psalm 78:6a (HCSB), “…so that a future generation — children yet to be born — might know…”

Small Groups are the Win

People tend to remember people way more than they will ever remember presentations. If you were to ask me the things I remember the most in my short 30 year life, it would be the people who have loved me, cared for me, and taught me life lessons. The people who still do that to this day. This is the very reason biblical, healthy, small groups are so important in the life of the local church. Simply put, the win is in building healthy small groups that will reproduce. Why? Most the time this is the place people are known, come to Jesus, and are discipled. Can you experience life change in pews? Sure you can. Are you more likely to experience life change in a community of people who are loving and praying along side you? Absolutely.

No matter the size of the church people attend or are a member at, we still have the desire to feel connected. Even those who are unsure about where their relationship with God is and have no desire to be a part of a local church, have a desire to be connected. Typically this is centered around common interest, beliefs, or hobbies.

With this in mind, allow me to give you three reasons I believe small groups are the win within the context of the local church. On the front end we must remember that small groups must be within the context of the local church. Why is this so important? Because Jesus established the local church for a reason.

Biblical small groups are built on relationships; you are known, loved, and ministered too. The key here is COMMUNITY. Living in the digital age that we currently live in, it “seems” as if everyone is “connected” in some shape or form. This is really not the case. Just because people seem as if they are really busy texting all the time or updating a social media status, does not mean they have a group of people they are doing life with. God created us to be relational beings that speak with one another and live in community. It is the very reason God says in the second chapter of the Bible, “It is not good for the man to be alone…” (Genesis 2:18 HCSB). Think about it this way… when life throws you an excellent surprise (job promotion, your child excels in an area and is recognized, etc.) who are you going to tell first? Your closest friends and family. The people you do life with. When life throws you a curve ball and an unexpected hurt comes along, who are you going to pick up the phone and call? Your closest friends and family. The people you do life with. We can fight it all day long, put in under the label of “I’m an introvert,” but at the end of the day we thrive on relationships.

Biblical small groups are centered on the reading, studying, and applying of God’s Word. If the Word of God is not the center piece of the small group, then it is not a biblical small group. It is a social club. While it is very appropriate for small groups to fellowship with one another, we must center them on the Word of God. It is impossible to grow as a believer in Jesus Christ without the Word of God. Furthermore, it is impossible to know who Jesus is, His mission, and His purpose a part from the Word of God. The key here is not only Bible intake but also to know what to do with what you have read. This is where being in a small group is vital. People doing life together and growing in their faith together. I also believe that curriculum can greatly aid in this process. Curriculum helps guide conversation, keeps groups on track, and measures growth in the life of a believer. While some weeks it is appropriate to only discuss what is going on in life, we must remember that growth doesn’t typically occur in randomness. Start off your weekly time together discussing life, praying for and over one another, and then dive into God’s Word with the heart of, “…Speak, for Your servant is listening.” (1 Samuel 3:10 HCSB)

Biblical small groups create an atmosphere of accountability. Accountability is scary for most. This is the case because we have to do three things that are not easy. Ask hard questions, be truthful where we are at, and practice humility. However, accountability is where it is at. It is a must in terms of growth and leadership. If we are not honest with the people we are doing life with then we are cheating ourselves and really missing the point all together. The book of Proverbs speaks to this when it says, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17 HCSB)  Remember the people who are keeping you accountable genuinely care for you or they would not be asking you hard questions. You may be the one asking the hard questions but you must also be sure you are the one answering questions as well.

Hopefully from this blog post you come to a deeper understanding of the importance of being in biblical small group within the context of the local church. This week, I received a phone call from someone asking me if I knew of a solid church in a certain city. Why were they asking? They knew a person that was really having a hard time and needed a small group of people to be the church to them. 

May we live in community together and live on mission together for the glory of God and the advancement of His kingdom.

 

 

Kid’s Ministry and Sharing the Gospel

The season is here… church worship spaces are being decorated, markers are being counted and placed in zip lock bags, copiers are preparing leader packets, and volunteers are being recruited. Next week our church is having our annual Vacation Bible School. A HUGE week in the life of local church children’s ministry. What a blessing to be able to minister to kids and their families in a fun and exciting way! Literally hours and hours of training and preparation will go into 5 days of bible lessons, crafts, games and rec, missions emphasizes, snacks, large group worship, and so on. Why? Because kids need Jesus. We all do. Kids need to know that the God we sing about in “big church” truly wants them to know how much cares for them. How much He loves them.

The most important part of kid’s ministry, especially during events like VBS and camps, is sharing the Gospel in an age-appropriate, God-glorifying way.

Below I have listed three “common questions” that are often heard when dealing with kids who are asking question about Jesus, salvation, baptism, etc. I then offer a potential better way of asking these questions. It’s important to note here I’m learning and growing just like ministry leaders all over are. The key here is not perfection but obedience.

1. Common Question: Am I ready to share the Gospel with children? At times it can seem overwhelming to share your faith with a child. Sure, you know it’s a blessing, but maybe you are used to and more comfortable communicating with adults rather than kids or students. Don’t allow fear to drive you in this. You may never feel ready but, the LORD wants to use you.

Better Question: Am I willing to be used by God and equipped to share the Gospel with children? The key is to have a willing spirit and be willing to be equipped and trained. Sharing your faith with a child is very different from sharing with an adult. How you say, what you say, matters. We must remember that sharing our faith and leading a child to the LORD is not impossible but rather an incredible honor.

2. Common Question: Is this child old enough to understand the Gospel? I understand the heart behind this question. I really do. As ministry leaders and parents we all want kids to understand what they are doing when they ask Jesus to be LORD and Savior. I believe at times though we get to caught up on the actual number and age before we hear a child out. Parents will often say, “They just are too young and not ready yet.” While there is usually wise discernment here, let’s not get caught up on, “They are just 7… they can’t know what they are doing.”

Better Question: Can this child explain to me who Jesus is, what He did on the cross, and why it matters? If a child can do this at the age of 7 or 8, then awesome. Have a Gospel conversation with them and help lead them in making the greatest decision they can ever make. For some kids they won’t be able to do this until they are 12 or even older. The age isn’t the most important thing here because every kid is different. The most important part is discerning if the child fully understands the Gospel. When we rush this, it leads to kids not really knowing what they are doing and then when they turn 16 saying, “I just did that because I thought I was supposed to.” It is so important that we take the time to have several conversations with kids to insure they are ready. I have found the best way to do this is to have a conversation with both the child and parents in the room.

3. Common Question: How can I simplify the Gospel so this child will understand it? In my opinion using words like “simplify” and “watered-down” are not really communicating what we are trying to do. It is so crucial we give kids the FULL picture of the Gospel and not just a snapshot because we feel they can’t grasp it.

Better Question: How can I clearly explain the life changing message of Jesus Christ to this child? Don’t just simply simplify it, be very clear. Be age appropriate? Absolutely. Move slower instead of faster to insure they are tracking with you. Ask a lot of questions. Do a lot of listening. Pray like crazy before and after. When we clearly explain the Gospel and pray the Holy Spirit moves in hearts and lives, great things can happen.

Sharing the life-changing message of Jesus Christ is an honor and blessing not matter who you are sharing it with. May kid’s ministries all the world be intentional and proactive in this!

Teaching Our Kids to Pray

Prayer, one of the most powerful aspects of the Christian life. It is an amazing thought that we have the opportunity to communicate with the God of the universe. The key is communication. Effective communication involves both talking and listening.

Almost a year ago, I received a new title. Dad. Let me tell you how awesome it is. Sure it has its ups and downs but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Recently, I also moved into a new role in church ministry. I’m now a Next Generation Pastor. This means I still work with students and families but I now also oversee the Preschool and Children’s Ministries. I LOVE family ministry. Sharing Jesus with mom and dad, their 8-year-old, and 14-year-old, excites me. It wakes me up and keeps me up.

This month our pastor has been doing a series on prayer. Prayer is one of those things I have always tried to teach on, model, and be a major part of any ministry I have been blessed to lead. With that being said, in my own life, I have experienced seasons in which frankly, it has been hard. Not so much because I didn’t know what to say or how to say it, but rather that I didn’t make it a priority. I got busy doing a lot of “Christian” things and I allowed my prayer life to slip.

So how do we teach our kids to pray? As a new dad and a pastor of almost seven years here are my thoughts…

1. We must first model it. In the Gospels, the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray (Luke 11). He not only gave them a model prayer (Matthew 6:9-13), He modeled it Himself (Mark 1:35, John 17). As parents and ministry leaders we have to do more than use the phrase, “I’m praying for you.” I have had many people send me text messages saying, “I’m praying for you today.” I have had very few of those people actually pray with me. Don’t hear me wrong, telling people you are praying for them is great. Send them that text message every time, it is definitely worth it. After you send that text message, take the next step, follow up. Maybe pray with them the following Sunday. The more times we do things like this, the more our kids will realize prayer is more than something we do before a meal.

2. We must teach the “why” before the “how” or “what.” There is great power in understanding why we do the things we do. Teaching our kids why we pray is no different. Have conversations like, “What does it mean to pray to God?” “What or who are somethings we should be praying for as a family?” “Son/Daughter, how can I be praying for you?” “Will you pray with me about this?”  Once families have a deeper understanding of the “why” it will make the “how” and the “what” much more significant. Why do we pray? We pray because we are Biblically commanded to but also because Jesus desires to have a relationship with us. Think about your best friend(s). I bet you don’t go very long without communicating with them either over the phone, email, or social media. Why do you do this? Because we value what they have to say. You desire to know and grow in your relationship with them.

3. We must make prayer more than a “wish list.” For many Christ followers, prayer becomes nothing more than a “what I can get out of it” outlet. “God bless me, take care of this need, and oh yes, thank you for this day.” Read Jesus’ prayers to the Father. Take a look at John 17.

John 17:1 (HCSB), “Jesus spoke these things, looked up to heaven, and said: Father, the hour has come. Glorify Your Son so that the Son may glorify You…”

This prayer was not about Jesus. It was about the glory of the Father. We must teach our kids that it is okay to ask God to bless us and take care of needs. However, our prayers and our Christmas gift list should not sound very similar.

There are two things I try to pray for often. First, are the lost people I’m in direct contact with. I pray that I would be a faithful example of the Gospel of Jesus Christ that they so desperately need. Second, is the nations. This includes the people groups where the spreading of the Gospel is limited and missionaries are in difficult settings.

Practical Advice for Praying as a Family Unit:

1. Prayer before a meal. Traditionally, if Christian influenced homes don’t do much praying at all they tend to bless their meals, even if it’s every once in a while. Next time you sit down as a family for a meal, go to the table 10 minutes early before you start eating your meal. Spend that 10 minutes praying as a family unit. Pray for each other.

2. Prayer for a missionary and/or church planter and their family. Place a picture of a missionary/church planter and their family somewhere visible in your home. Encourage each family member to pray for the missionary/church planter and their family once a week. Having a visual will be a great reminder. Pray for their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs.

3. Prayer for your circle of influence. Have each family member write down two people in their circle of influence (friends, teachers, pastors, coaches, etc.) that they can lift up in prayer. Allow each family member to voice these prayers aloud.

4. Parents, pray over your children. Mom and dads, don’t miss this. When your kids go to sleep, spend time with your spouse praying for your kids. Pray that they would fall in love with Jesus and love Him more than anything else. Pray that the decisions they make in life would honor and glorify God. Pray for their future spouse.

Connecting Church and Home

When I’m thinking about and praying over families I immediately think of Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Parents of kids and teenagers, if you have never dug into this text I encourage you too; read it, highlight it, tweet it, memorize it… live it. The words found in this passage speaks to loving God first and foremost and then how we live this out with our kids in everyday life. Historically, this was written to the Israelites. God wanted them to “bear witness to the truth that God is the only true God. They were to love Him supremely and keep His Word. The commandments of the LORD were to be taught diligently to their children.”  (*Reference: Believer’s Bible Commentary by William MacDonald)

Here are some thoughts I have when reading this passage…

1. It’s ultimately a Lordship issue. (Verses 4-6)
What do you love more than anything? If we are loving the Lord with everything we are, our kids will see this. If someone were to ask our kids, “What is the most important to thing to mom and dad…” how would they respond? Even if our kids are far from Jesus, love Christ supremely and allow the Holy Spirit to work on their heart. In this passage, we see a very important reminder that it begins with our personal relationship with Jesus. Are we growing in this or is this the first thing to go in the business of life?

2. Spiritual conversations in the home should come naturally not forced. (Verse 7)
Do spiritual conversations seem “awkward” in your household? When we are taking our kids to baseball practice, a dance recital, or piano lessons, why not talk about the pastor’s sermon from the previous Sunday? The key here is to look for teachable moments. They will come “when you walk by the way.” What do we do with these moments? If the only time we pray with our kids is at meal time, we probably aren’t loving Christ first and foremost. This is much easier to type than to live but my prayer is that we, as parents, have consistent communication about faith in our homes.

3. Our outward expressions should be a direct reflection of the heart. (Verses 8-9)
Did you notice that verses 8-9 came after verses 4-7? Here is what I’m getting at… the Bible verse hanging up in your bedroom should be one of the results of loving Christ supremely. We have it out-of-order when we hang up the Bible verse because “we always have” or “because it looks nice” then we think and reflect on our relationship with Jesus. I’m not bashing hanging up Bible verses in our homes or drinking out of a coffee mug with a Bible verse on it… I just wonder if we have ever taken the time to read the entire chapter of Scripture that particular verse is found in? People, our kids, our neighbors, will know what is most important to us. They won’t have to look very long or hard to “find it.”

Again, I know these things are hard to live out at times. Life can be tough and beat us up at times. Continue in your personal pursuit of Jesus. He knows our heart and where we are most passionate. If you are a parent and are reading this, know I’m praying for you.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 (ESV), “{4} Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. {5} You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. {6} And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. {7} You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. {8} You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. {9} You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

Life is a Journey

Life is a journey. In this journey we call life, there are ups and downs, mountain top experiences and valleys.  While we may never know “why” things happen the way they do, what doesn’t change is Jesus and His mission. Jesus is exactly who He said He is and we, as Christ followers, build our lives  on this foundational truth. In this journey we call life there are three things that I’m constantly reminding myself of, whether we are in a good season or a tough season.

1. God is sovereign and in complete control. No matter the circumstances, we must allow God to be God and not us. If things are going well, we can have the tendency to become prideful and think higher of ourselves than we ought too. If things are not going well we tend to get angry and play the blame game. Underneath it all, our natural sinful hearts love control. We want to know every little detail when it happens and how its going to happen. This is God’s job not mans. God is sovereign not man. God is holy, righteous, and pure, not man. Our pursuit should be one of Proverbs 3:5-6. We must trust in Him and not lean on our own understanding.

2. Find confidence and assurance in the fact you were created in the very image of God. Situations can change, life can change, and we can be left with many unanswered questions. What will never change for Christ followers is who we are in Christ. In the first chapter of the Bible (Genesis 1:27) we find a very powerful truth: we were created in the very image of God. We were created to display the image of God and reflect His glory. While your earthly circumstances may change, if you are in Christ, your ultimate perspective will never change.

3. Read the Word of God now, more than ever. In the Word of God we find absolute truth. We find out exactly who Jesus is and how He dealt with praise from man and hardships from man. We see how He talked with people, ministered to people, and helped people see Him and His mission. I love the Word of God because every time I read it, it speaks to me. When reading God’s Word you will be convicted of sin, charged with a mission that is greater than you, and you will see the deep, deep love Jesus has for you. Whatever season of life you are in, read the Word of God now, more than ever. If you have never really read the Word of God on any consistent basis, start with the book of Mark. This is the shortest account we have of the life of Jesus and this Gospel was written to show Jesus as the Son of Man, the Suffering Servant. Next, take whatever day of the week it is and read the congruent Proverb. For example if its May 16th, read Proverbs 16.

The Greatest Life Decision… The most important decision you can make in this journey we call life is to accept Jesus Christ as your personal LORD and Savior. Through His death and resurrection we can have eternal life. The Bible teaches us in Romans 10:9 (HCSB), “If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.”  The Gospel in four short statements is God Loves – Sin Separates – Jesus Saves – We Receive. Accepting Jesus as your LORD and Savior is the greatest decision you will ever make. Allow Jesus and His message to transform you.

 

 

Madelyn Kate Kinkade

Emily and I are now parents!!! On March 6, 2014 we welcomed Madelyn Kate Kinkade into the world! Each and everyday is a learning experience as we find out things that work, things that don’t work, a feeding schedule, and when to sleep. Oh sleep, that has forever changed. 🙂

At the end of the day, we wouldn’t have it any other way.

We are praying three specific prayers over Madelyn’s life as we raise her to love Jesus more than she loves anything else.

  • Our first prayer is that her lips would proclaim the glory of God to the nations.
  • Our second prayer is that her hands would be about the work of the LORD.
  • Our third prayer is that her feet would walk in truth.

As a pastor leading a local church student ministry, the partnership between parents and the local church is absolutely vital. My goal and passion is to have parents informed, involved, and influential in our ministry. I encourage parents to pray intentionally for each one of their children. Here are some suggestions I give parents in praying for and with their kids.

  • Pray Scripture over them. Take verses read in a quiet time and use them as your starting point.
  • Thank God for the blessing that they are. Even in the struggles, our children are very much a gift from God.
  • Give their struggles to the LORD. Ask God to give wisdom and discernment as you walk through it as a family.

The key is for parents to know they are not in this alone. We now, more than ever, know how hard it is to balance parenthood with marriage, jobs, and life in general. The local church must partner with parents and the family unit. The job of a student ministry is not to replace parents as the main disciple maker of their kids but rather to come along side parents and assist them in raising spiritual champions for Christ!

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